The Weekend Recap: Halloween Edition Part 2

I had planned on writing this last night, but then I became distracted with how unorganized my house is. I've always heard that "A confused mind does nothing." When my house isn't organized, my mind is confused. Well, let's be honest, I'd probably still be confused even with meticulous organization, but I am trying this whole, "being positive" thing today since its "National Stress Awareness Day". Does anyone need to be aware of stress? Like, it's pretty damn prevalent. Just do some yoga, Netflix and chill people.

Anyway, back to the weekend recap. Now, where did I leave off? Oh that's right, we woke up super late on Sunday and The Hubs still didn't have all of his costume. I find this out as I'm hopping out of the shower, and finding out we have to drive 30 min in the opposite direction of the party to get parts of his costume.

So we drive to his BFF's house and pick up the rest of his costume. Now, would you like to know what he was? Drumroll please . . .

A. Cowboy.

Ok, so he didn't have a fire laso, this is just for dramatic affect/effect (Ugh, whatever, I'm editing with wine in my hand deal with it). Anyway, cowboy isn't a real stretch for him. He is country AF. In fact, half of the photos we have together he is wearing a cowboy hat. When I pointed this out to him, he said, "I don't wear chaps and spurs all the time!"

Heavy sigh, and massive eye roll. He responded, "You don't always wear your horns, but you're still Maleficent!'' Touché.

Ok, an hour later, we are on the way to the party. Now, the party is hosted by my BFF, Brian and his boyfriend, Jeremy. The last Halloween party they hosted was SIX years ago. It was a HOT MESS. I was Ke$ha; I didn't buy a blonde wig, so it wasn't perfect. Here is are some photos:

As you can see, I wasn't missing this shindig! I took off work Monday, 10/31, so I could attend this party. Per usual, the hosts and several of their friends all had matching themed costume. They were the cast from Clue. Totally epic:

I mean, I felt like a total D in my sad costume this year. Definitely need a sewing machine for next year. Plus, I can make my own curtains, as Mrs. Peacock pointed out.

We finally get there, get dressed, and start drinking. We plant ourselves on the back porch furniture because we are flat out exhausted. People start pouring in. Trump was there with Melania, and an entourage of school teachers:

Here is one of Snow White's Dwarfs:

Late night host out of costume at this point:

Andy Warhol with his "Andy's Candies", and Liz Taylor tagging along:

Then, here is the entryway to their house:

Seriously, they are amazingly creative, and this is why I love them. There are some other photos, but I'll get back to story telling now.

We've claimed our seats, and people are starting to come in. We are on the couch taking up two spaces when this tall blonde chick, yes, she was actually female, asks The Hubs in a flirty voice, "Do you care if I sit here?" He says, "No." And then she promptly almost sits in his lap with her legs rubbing all over his right leg. I'm just sitting there watching out of the corner of my eye drinking. Finally, he abruptly gets up, and says, "I'm going to get a beer, you want one?" I smile and reply, "Sure!" He goes and grabs two beers, and sits down again practically on top of me making it quite obvious we are together. Finally, said blonde, gives up and wanders to find another straight boy in this Gayborhood Halloween Party. I look over at The Hubs and say, "I think she liked you." He freaks out telling me she kept rubbing her legs all over his leg and that is why he got up, and says, "I didn't expect THAT to happen at THIS party!" I look at him, "ME NEITHER!"

Blondie, in her unrecognizable costume, meaning I have no f-ing clue who she was supposed to be, continues to give me the stank eye the rest of the time she was there. Like, really chick? You're hitting on MY husband and you're giving me stank eye? Cue Beyoncé, "All you ladies now let's get in formation!"

Finally, The Rudder arrives as "Limited Edition," because there is LITERALLY no other way of describing this friend. There is only ONE of her, and honestly, I think that's all the world can handle. (Love you Rudder!) She then begins the photo-shoot. We take 20 bazillion photos because none are up to her "Rudder Standards." I've just learned to go with the flow at this point. Here are some from out photo shoot.

After the photo shoot things start to get a bit hazy. I do remember one little gay asking The Hubs, "You wanna to ride my horse?" To which, my friend dressed as Mrs. Peacock replied for him saying, "Oh honey, that's not a horse, that's a pony!" Laughter ensues.

Things get hazy again, and I remember Brian trying to find a place for another guest to sleep, and me screaming, "Don't let him sleep on our single wide in the library" talking about the fold out chair we'd already made up for our slumber arrangements. Seriously, the crap that comes out of my mouth these days after moving to the country . . . I just can't even.

I find, what I think is one of The Seven Dwarves' hats, and we decided to have a photo shoot. Oh and The Hubs now has on his cowboy do-rag. Just enjoy.

Seriously, if I can make idiotic pictures with this man for the rest of my life, it'll never be a dull moment.

This is the end my friends. The end of the night, oh, um, morning.

This party is one of the best. I better not have to wait another SIX years to come to another one! Brian & Jeremy I am talking to y'all! Next year, I'm sewing my own costume. I probably should start now if I want to be up to gay Halloween standards. Until next Halloween! Maleficent out!